I meet up with an Egyptian woman who is exactly my age about once a week, to practice English and Arabic. It's really nice. When we were thinking about the best way to learn a language, I, in my rambling way, mentioned that sometimes a glass of wine helps loosen your tongue. You lose a bit of 'theory of mind,' that very helpful thing that can also be paralyzing. For instance, if she's preoccupied with the thought that I know she doesn't speak english very well, she might be clamming up and making mistakes from self consciousness. But a little sip or two of wine peels of some of those layers of theory of mind, until, at the point of total intoxication, everyone is like a two-year-old, barely aware that anyone can perceive them as an independently thinking being. We wouldn't want to go that far... just the first layer. She was aghast, and then intrigued, and finally excited: this was the first time she'd ever heard of anything good about wine! A flood of questions followed. Did I drink wine? Did John? Did I have friends who drank? What does it feel like to be drunk? "I want to feel what it is like to lose my mind," she said, in true Sufi fashion. We decided to have a debate about wine at our next meeting.

She started her internet research right away, and by the next week had learned all the reasons not to drink a drop of wine: addiction, fetal alcohol syndrome, liver damage, brain damage, drunk driving, domestic abuse. She said she could not find a single positive thing about wine on the internet. She looked at me expectantly. I said, those are true too, but when you drink in moderation there are health benefits and mental benefits. It can be good for your heart, and help you enjoy your friendships. You don't need wine for that, you could just eat healthily and exercise and cultivate relaxed friendships without wine. It's not necessary, it's just another way, I said, and the risks can be too big for some people. "Some people shouldn't touch it, because of their genetics or history." I wasn't trying to convert her.

Then, to get off the topic of disease and addiction, I started talking about the mechanics of making wine: vineyards, different kinds of grapes, different stages of harvest for light or syrupy wines, good climatic conditions for growing grapes, the fermentation process (she interrupted me here, reminding me that she is a biochemist), aging and vintage, vinegar, price variability (two buck chucks vs the $400 bottle -- at this she wasn't surprised at how expensive wine can be, but how cheap), until she was thoroughly bored. We talked about a new vocabulary word -- connoisseur -- and I told her about Philip Zorn, my cousin the wine maker, and Pete Johnson, my brother-in-law the grape grower. I had brought a bottle of red wine from Australia in my bag, and we surreptitiously brought it out (after closing the door!) to analyze the label. I had spent 30 dirhams on it, about $8, and she was pretty sure that at such a low price it would be vinegar, so I opened it to taste, it was fine (I'm no connoisseur), and poured her a bit as well. She was too nervous to drink any, but said she would keep it in a jar and try it later. I imagined her going into a dark closet to take a sip the way my dad tried out his first (and last) swear word as a kid.

A couple more weeks went by, and then she called to ask if she could come over to our apartment to drink wine together. I said yes, great, we could have dinner with a glass of wine. I think she may have had something more rowdy in mind, but I'm pregnant! And I barely know anyone! And John had to go out with a source. So she came over, and we sat with our full glasses of wine in front of us, talking about this and that. The tension was building. Finally she said she was too nervous to drink the first sip. I said: a sip is not a big deal. Even the Prophet Mohammed said to drink in moderation is ok. She said, no, you're wrong, the Koran forbids alcohol and gambling. I said, well, I thought I read that somewhere, here let me go look for my Koran.

She got a call so I got up to look for our book with the Arabic verses, Urdu and English translations side by side. I found it and brought it over to the table. She shrieked and motioned for me to take it away, and quickly got off the phone, laughing but on the verge of hysterics. I said ok ok, and pushed it aside; we were both laughing. She had taken her first sip, ever, while I was up looking for the Koran, and the ice was broken. After a while, she said, ok, open the Koran and we will see what God has to say to us. I opened it randomly, and put my finger on a verse. This is the gist of it: For every person who turns away from Allah and walks in delusion, Allah grants him a devil as his djinn (spiritual companion through life), who will lead him deeper into delusion. Then, at the day of judgment, standing before Allah and suddenly aware of his delusional state, he will confront his djinn and say: "If only we had kept the distance of the east and west between us."

!

Even I was a little awestruck.